"For the {Temple} is a Holy Place...."

The temple on Thursday was

Amazing

Crazy

Emotional

and i'll admit.... strange.

I had to be at the temple early with my mom to do all of the initiatory stuff before my first session. I couldn't sleep the night before haha i only got about 3 hours of sleep AND i was fasting so when i woke up i was a zombie. My mom told me that i needed to break my fast or i would be miserable and falling asleep in the session. she gave me an energy drink and got me McDonald's ha. But all of the jitters and sleepiness left me as we pulled onto the road with the temple and i saw it. I love the St. George temple. It's always been my fairy princess castle, where i'd be sealed to my eternal companion/prince charming haha. When i saw it, i cried and cried and kept saying to my mom i can't believe i'm so lucky, i'm actually going inside today! I can't believe this!! haha i was all kinds of emotional.

Walking into the temple was fun too. I had my cute Vera Bradley temple bag with my beautiful new temple dress, all of the stuff that i needed (including mints, my mom said it's a tradition of hers to always have mints in her temple bag) and i showed the front desk man my very own temple recommend. (you know.. cause you always picture when you'll have it and that you'll show it to them and smile and think "yep thats right i'm worthy! I'm doing this!")

As a member of the LDS church, i've known all of my life that i would some day go into the temple for the first time. (and i thought it would be right before i got married... ha). Now, having been inside the temple, I am at a loss for words really.

I feel like there's this whole side of the church that i'd never known about before. The temple will do that to you i guess. But it's not secret, it's sacred. And this past Thursday i had to tell myself that it's not scary or weird, it's sacred.

Its like this time when my family got tickets to see General Conference. I was 14 or 15 i think and i was so excited. i remember saying my prayers and expressing how grateful i was that i got to see the prophet in real life. Then when i sat in my seat (on the balcony of the new conference center) i was in total shock. I had felt the spirit prior to entering the conference center, but once i was there i was mesmerized at all of the people, and how commercial it all felt. Seeing that many people come, and seeing all of the cameras and the hype of conference in real life scared me, and i felt like the church wasn't what i had thought it was because of that experience. That's exactly how i felt after my first temple session was over. I was mesmerized, and the church seems foreign again.

I'll continue to go, and i'll get used to it and i know i'll love it once i can understand it all better, but for right now, i'm trying to focus on the positive aspects. The main positive thing that i keep thinking about is how wearing garments always seemed like such an adult thing, and now i'm wearing them. That's crazy! I feel like a real grown up now. It makes me happy sometimes, but that taylor Swift song came on my itunes the other day "Never Grow Up" and i got sad. I don't feel like i'm old enough for all of this. But i'm grateful nonetheless =)