MTC MTC MTC MTC MTC MTC

Sister Stephanie Holm
MTC Mailbox # 179
TAIW-TAI 0616
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793



WRITE ME PLEASE =D

I leave Wednesday... 4 days!!!!
text/email/facebook me your addresses and emails!!!!!

Auntie Heffer

Yep.
I found out right as my parents and I landed in St. George on Sunday night.
Jaime is PREGGERS! and I'll be gone =( and won't get to see him/her until i get home about a year later!
sad sad day.. but I'm also really happy for them!!!!!
Congratulations Steve & Jaime! Love you guys =)

Rochester, NY

I wish i could post the pictures i've taken for the past 3 days!!

but unfortunately the cord that connects my camera to a computer is on my mission "to buy" list.

Anyways . . .

I'm in ROCHESTER, NEW YORK right now!

I've been here since Thursday night visiting my big sister Julie "Sister Holm" (we've been struggling this whole time.. we keep saying "juj.... i mean sister holm" haha and i think her companion is a little annoyed about it.

Sister Holm is serving a mission here in Rochester (the Hill Cumorah Visitor's Center mission).

She gives tours and proselytes.

But the tours are for not only the visitor's center, but all of the church history sites here in Western NY.

We've seen TONS and TONS of stuff here since we got here.

When we first landed, we went straight to a chapel where she was giving a book of mormon night with a few other companionships. i literally ran down the hall to see her because i could hear her talking haha. she was in the middle of a thought and then just went "ohh my gosh....!!!" and ran over and hugged me and cried and hugged my parents and cried haha.

we've been with her and her companion going to all of the sites and visiting people and cool places.

*The Sacred Grove

*The Hill Cumorah

*The Moroni Monument

*The Smith Family Farm

*The Whitmer Farm

*The printing press where the book of mormon was first printed <<>

*and the LDS bookstore next door.

*The Palmyra Temple

Her companion's name is Sister Van Den Berghe and she's way cool.

New York reminds me a lot of Georgia, but all of the houses are so cute and small and victorian looking.

Sister Holm hasn't changed a lot. But she has a lot when you get her in her missionary mode. Things still feel the same with us and everything feels normal, except we hug each other ALL the time and are really cherishing our time together right now (i won't see her for a year and a half almost exactly).

Tonight my parents and i with Sister Holm and her companion visited their mission president. They talked a lot about the mission and gave a lot of advice to my parents for their mission.

We talked about how I don't want Sister Holm to get married until i get home, but that she really wants to ha and so i'll be ok with that if it's absolutely necessary haha.

Visiting with the mission president (President Christianson) was amazing. He just had a heart attack a few days ago and he definitely had taken some resting time away to be able to visit with us. He's an amazing man.

but all of this has gotten me SOOOO excited to go.

I am sick and sick and SICK of the anxiety!! i just want to go!!

I can't wait to see how i like the MTC because i've heard everyone else's opinion and it's time i had my own.

I can't wait to see how i get along with my companions. and i can't wait to start my schedule and be more organized and to try my obedience and work ethic.

I can't wait to meet my mission president and get to know the language and culture of Taiwan.

I can't wait to ride my bike and visit people and have fun learning the language.

I'll have to remind myself constantly that the little things that bother me aren't a big deal.

I'll have to pray all of the time until i love the food.

My patience will be tested a ton with the language, but i want to work hard and make it fun.

Anyway.. i just got home and i'm just all excited!

I know it's 18 months that i could be dating, getting married, going to school, going to the beach, watching movies, and hanging out with my friends. But i feel like this opportunity is a huge blessing. My life is about to change almost completely and i cant wait!!!!

Way Cute

{There's Gold Ahead, There's Gold in Dreams.. in Life's Hills and Valleys}

I've been getting a ton (A TON) of stuff ready for my mission guys.

I am quite stressed and busy.

My life is a stress case in slow motion right now.

But you can also see me driving around St. George in this beautiful beautiful weather (its almost as great as hawaii right now... almost.) with the windows down, my sunglasses on, singing the Rocket Summer. and relaxing my time away.

I LOVE all of the people I've been able to see.

There is this sister missionary from L.A. who i knew at BYU Hawaii, and she is called on her mission here in St. George at the temple visitor's center.

This past summer she came over to eat dinner at my house and it was AWESOME. it was a total surprise when she walked in haha. but i ran into her when i went to lunch with the amazing friend that i have named Liz Egbert at Cafe Rio the other day.

Her name is Sister Mariano, and she is awesome. After lunch, i stopped by the visitor's center and chatted for over an hour with all of the sisters there. I was surrounded and given so much advice from all of them. I left soo happy and excited!

I had set this goal that i was going to start my sleep schedule (10:30 - 6:30) 21 days before i entered the MTC so that i could set it as a habit. They told me to enjoy not having to wake up at 6:30 and maybe a few days before i should do it just so my body doesn't get shocked.

and i agreed anyways because I have too many things that i want to at night to be able to go to bed that early.....

I leave in 17 days!!!!!!!

can you even believe that?!

i know, right.

it is the craziest feeling ever.

i know that it's normal. but somedays i wake up and i'm just like "oh my gosh... i CANNOT do this. there is no way that i can do this."

Missionary work isn't about me. And the less i think about me, the happier i am. =)

Saturday was a hard day for me.

let me tell you why.

SOOOO Many people got married. there was a girl in my ward who went to get her endowment, and there were i think 6 or 8 people going through for the first time. and 30, THIRTY, weddings. It makes sense because it's right before (or during) Spring Break. But listen,

i'm a girl. I'm about to leave on a mission. I'm not going to be able to date, to cuddle, and to really even think about boys. For the most part it's a good thing.

but i DREAD coming home. because even now i wish i was married even though my mission is without a doubt what i'm supposed to do. What if my wedding day never comes? what if i really do turn out to be a cat lady? I'm gonna work hard on my mission so that hopefully the harder I work, the more awesome he'll be. I don't want to come home and have to wait very long before I'm married. I know that i'll be tired of being alone after a while.

=) Happy Sunday!

PS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to visit Sister Julie Holm on THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Happy}

I walked downstairs to say goodnight to my little nephew Camden,

i said "i thought you were 3 little kids walking in the door so i came down here to see who it was,

but it's just you. and you're just one"

and he goes

"nu uh there's 2 cause my dad counts too."

and then he tried to make the wii work, and i told him it wasn't working because he hadn't given me hugs and kisses goodnight.

so now i have a fat lip.

because i gave him a kiss on the head, and he kept wiping away my kisses, and leaning back and forth. and banged me in the head.

but it makes me happy. haha

I've been sick for the past couple of days.

And its still like every single day is a roller coaster

some days I'm still so excited to go and just want to leave tomorrow

and other days I ask myself what the heck am i getting myself into.

I think everyone feels like that though.

I kind of regret not finishing another semester at BYUH.

I look back at the past couple of months,

I've traveled a ton

but i've only seen my family a little.

I really don't spend all that much time with my parents

and they were the whole reason I moved home.

I even go mission shopping by myself ha

that's how busy they are.

It reminds me of my senior year when i did all of my graduation stuff by myself.

I bought my cap and gown, i submitted pictures for the young women's slideshow,

i cut and put together my graduation announcements,

and now i'm buying skirts that go past my knee,

and shirts that cover my garments,

cute headbands,

closed toed and heeled shoes,

raincoats,

belts, and hair flowers,

extra make-up and shavers,

a plethora of american fever-reducers,

suitcases and a sweet mission backpack,

pens, pencils, a mini hymnbook, a notebook,

bed sheets and 2 pillowcases,

towels and shampoo,

and figuring out how i need to best prepare.

it's a lonely, and stressful process.

and I miss the people who made me laugh all of the time.

I could really use a good laugh

and a talk about how crazy this decision feels sometimes.

{Call} Pictures & Videos

{Georgia 2011} Dreaming old dreams... Wishing old wishes...

Foreword:

From 2005 to 2008 I lived in Alpharetta, Georgia.

I attended Chattahoochee High School where i Graduated,

went to church at the John's Creek Ward,

and had some amazing times with some very good friends.

The Wall Family:

Ira, Kerri, Nathaniel, Devin, Justin, Harrison

(Nathaniel and i have been really good friends since i moved to Georgia, and best friends our senior year)

FRIDAY:

I Arrived at the Atlanta airport at 4:30PM (without any delays!!!)

Kerri and Nathaniel picked me up

(i haven't seen them since summer of '08!)

and we had dinner with their family at The Varsity.

(They made me try the chili-dogs because that's what its famous for

they were way good! but i could only eat one haha)

Nathaniel and i went to his house

and waited for Cameron Greenburg to come over

and we went to WAFFLE HOUSE late that night.

(Nathaniel, Weston and I used to eat at the waffle house

probably at least once a week, usually after mutual)

SATURDAY:

Cameron slept over,

Kerri made us BISCUITS AND GRAVY (nice and southern =)

and we had a lazy morning.

Around noon Devin was begging us to make homemade ice cream

so we went to publix and bought the stuff to make later that night.

Then Cameron, Nathaniel and I drove to

The MALL OF GEORGIA (half an hour drive)

to eat lunch with my really good friends

Ashlyn Lichliter & Mariana Correa (with hubby Baylen)

(all of the girls who i graduated with except one, are all married now haha)

We had a really fun lunch at the OLIVE GARDEN,

with a rude waiter,

and had some good catching up time.

I have missed those girls.

I had a few moments where i just was like

"I can't believe I'm sitting here, in Georgia, with all of you guys"

and i'd get all teary eyed and have a moment. haha

I realized as i was in Georgia

how incredibly grateful i am

for all of the amazing friends that i have.

i am soooo blessed.

I have friends ALL over

and i would be depressed and discouraged

if i didn't have all of them.

I love LOVE love my friends.

After lunch Mariana, her husband,

cameron, nathaniel and i

walked around the Mall.

We sat around in the LOVESAC store

and went to the AS SEEN ON TV store

and i bought some cute shoes for my mission at H&M.

After a couple hours we were done, and i had to say bye to Mariana. =(

who still texted me the whole time i was there even when i wasn't with her. I love her! haha

Nathaniel and i visited

Taze and Kathryn Miller

and the Ernsts!

(Verne Ernst was my bishop for my junior and senior years of high school

he's now the stake president

and is one of my very favorite in georgia/the world)

it was so fun to be able to chat with them

tell them about my call

and my parents call

and about my life.

Nathaniel and I went to dinner together at a Thai Food restaurant.

then we drove over and saw my house

on PAPILLON TRACE.

I had a moment.

The whole time i was looking at it i kept thinking about

how i felt while i lived there, and how far i've come since i was there.

It was a crazy weird feeling to see it again.

Then Cameron came over

and we watched Kung Fu Panda.

Nathaniel went to bed,

and Cameron and I stayed up and talked

in our sweet Russian accents for a little while.

SUNDAY:

Church at the Johns Creek ward.

AMAZING.

President Ernst spoke

(the night before he had warned me that he was going to call me up

to bear my testimony.

but luckily the bishop who spoke before him

only left him about 5 minutes to speak haha)

Then he bore his testimony in Relief Society

about his love for the women in his life.

Afterward i went up to tell him bye,

and started crying as he told me how special of a person i am to him and his family

i told him if it wasn't for him, i would be a different person.

he was an amazing influence in my life.

I got to see my whole ward!

tons of families and people i haven't seen in so long.

it was so nice to see everyone

and i felt so loved and missed.

i wish i could go visit once a month,

i LOVE all of the people in that ward.

Sunday night we made homemade ice cream

had Tim and Meagan Moody over for dinner

CHICKEN PILLOWS oh soo good.

watched Shanghai Noon

and played 4 men on a couch.

(I also took a nap this day,

and had a nightmare that someone was trying to attack me

and i couldn't move or wake up

so i started to scream so that Walls would come and wake me up..

i woke up really embarrassed hoping i hadn't actually been screaming in my sleep.

i went downstairs and everyone else was taking a nap too

and kerri was starting to make dinner so i helped her.

she laughed at me when i told her about my dream

and reassured me that i wasn't screaming haha

it was a really scary dream!)

MONDAY:

Kerri made us some really good

apple streusel french toast for breakfast (she really spoiled me!)

Nathaniel had to work for a few hours

so i went to lunch with Kerri, Lisa Miller, and DANIELLE POULTER

who was a freshman when i was a senior

and now she's on break from BYU-I, CRAZINESS!

We ate at a mexican restaurant called ADOBOS

it was delicious.

Then Kerri and I got pedicures

and went back to the house and Nathaniel was home.

Nathaniel and i watched EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND

(we used to watch it together when we were dating for a few months haha

and his family loves that show)

We hung out and watched TV for a while

then Cameron and BRANDEE DUNNE came over

(Brandee and i played on the church basketball team together

and hung out at church stuff, girls camp, and we had some movie nights together)

and we went to this really good authentic Mexican Restaurant.

Nathaniel served his mission in Monterrey, Mexico

and had searched out where the really authentic mexican places to eat were.

This place was an old mall

without a/c and run down

and all of the stores were like

tattoo parlors, or dress places for quinceaneras.

haha

We all shared some really good

tacos, enchiladas, and tamales.

and i practiced a little of my spanish.

And we had some authentic coke from mexico.

i guess its supposed to taste different because it has real cane sugar in it.

it tasted really good, but i don't drink coke enough to know the difference.

After dinner, Brandee, Nathaniel and i played Mad Gab

and talked for a little while.

we watched these YouTube videos called

"cute win fail" or something like that.

they're hilarious.

then nathaniel and i watched Everybody Loves Raymond again

and went to bed.

TUESDAY:

We woke up early

and went to breakfast with

kerri, Heather Greenburg and Jeri Colton

(Heather is Cameron's mom, (and Logan's who was my really good friend

in high school and is on his mission in Spain)

and Jeri was my young women's leader.

she gave me a really pretty pouch with my name embroidered on it for my temple stuff)

at this cute EGG HARBOR CAFE.

I got a really good omelet and strawberry-orange juice.

Then we had to go home because Nathaniel had to leave for work soon.

so we watched a little more of Everybody Loves Raymond,

and he left.

then i went and packed

and flew home at 1:50PM

My weekend was AMAZING.

i had so much fun with all of my old friends

and with the Walls.

I'm so glad they let me stay with them because it wouldn't have been the same if i hadn't.

I've missed Georgia a lot and hope that i can go back there again soon after my mission!

=)

Delightful Delays

This is the story of the worst luck in traveling ever recorded. Probably.

It all started on December 18th, 2010

Flying from HNL to LAX then connecting to LAS

the LAX to LAS flight is departing the gate,

a man stands up (whilst taxiing (big no no)) and goes into the bathroom,

he was drunk, and threw up ALL over the first class bathroom.

The plane turns around, the flight attendants start cleaning it up. Then the captain comes on and announces that he has overflown his hours, and has to go on rest for legalities. The flight is cancelled, people are angry. My dad is livid (big word).

We take a 5 hour bus ride to Vegas from LA. We would have gotten home at 2 in the morning. . . we don't get there 'til 7.

Tuesday (February 8th 2011)

Wake up leave the house at 5:30 a.m.

St. George shuttle to Las Vegas.

I'm flying from LAS to SLC then SLC to HNL.

My flight in LAS is delayed an hour.

I'm freaking out thinking I'm going to miss my connecting flight.

We land in SLC. I briskly walk to another terminal, my flight was supposed to depart in 10 minutes.

The flight is delayed an hour. So i go get a krispy kreme.

The flight gets delayed half an hour.

(The cargo door to the plane wouldn't open. The previous flight from Atlanta (=D) were all waiting for their luggage. 2 hours after they landed they got their luggage out. Then the cargo door wouldn't work right, so they were trying to fix it so that it would open and close properly.)

The flight gets delayed another hour (after the first hour and a half delay)

Then another hour.

Then a half hour...

then 2 hours....

then a whopping 8 hours.

I was supposed to leave SLC at 11 am and arrive in HNL at 330.

We don't leave until 8pm and i don't get to HNL until midnight.

My grandma picked me up and i got to visit her and see her cats and puppy.

Once i arrive in HNL, Bree and Erin are on their way and her car breaks down.

like, for good. Snoopy was dead =(

so we had to have someone else from Laie find a car, go get them because they had her car towed to Kaneohe, then come out and get me.

I was at that airport forever. I got kicked out of the baggage claim because they were closing it.

I sat outside on a concrete bench, and started to cry. It had been a full 24 hours since i left my house in St. George.

and i cried pretty hard because i was tired, and i was in hawaii, and i had all of this bad luck and it just felt weird and sad and scary.

This nice couple from Texas came and talked to me, and they ended up asking a lot of questions about the church so that was cool.

NEXT FLIGHT. . . from Honolulu to Kona

Delayed 3.5 hours. But i did make it and had an amazing time on the Big Island.

(i also had a REALLY REALLY cool missionary experience on this flight. New Post to come)

NEXT FLIGHT. . . from Kona to LAX

Delayed a half hour

then the radio wasn't working right, so we had to make a stop in Honolulu and possibly switch planes.

They fix the radio after an hour in Honolulu.

I'm in first class because my dad upgraded me, then he had a guy from the business on the plane who was 6'6" and a big guy, so i switched him and sat in coach with his 6 year old son who was sleeping and kept hitting me and laying all over me haha. 4.5 hours later we're in LAX.

LAX to LAS

we were already bumped up to a later flight, but we landed 10 minutes before that one was supposed to take off. My parents and i RUN as fast as we can to the gate, (usually when you have a connecting flight and you're cutting it close, the gate attendant will hold the flight for you, especially if its that close) so we get to the gate and the lady was going back and closing the gate. We have the TSA people go back to tell her we're waiting. She shuts the door anyway. and My dad is... beside himself.

the plane was right there. not even leaving the gate yet, we were on the list, and she knew we were. but she said we weren't and that the gate was already closed and there was nothing she could do. My dad goes off.... "that's b.s. we're on that list and you know it"

i run to another gate to get on a different flight. My dad calls and we get switched to another airline that leaves in an hour.

We go through security again. my dad is freaking out thinking our bags won't make it on this flight. he talks to the lady at this other airlines gate, she claims that there's no way she can know and there's no way to find out.

My dad starts yelling at her.

My mom and i just get on the flight.

The flight attendant comes onto the plane before they shut the door and tells my dad that she did call, and they don't know if the bags are on the plane. but she did call (i don't get why she didn't just pick up the phone and call while we were standing there.)

my dad was really frustrated because all of the attendants were just being lazy, and claiming they can't do stuff. My dad flies like every day of every year for the past 30 years. . . he's not some dumb customer that doesn't know how it works.

Anyways.... we did make it home eventually.

3 of the 4 bags we had made it onto the flight, and delta had to drive the other one up from LA to us in STG. Their mistake i'd say.

I did get $450 worth of money toward a flight (it expires in a year so i need to use it before i leave on my mission) and 2 free meals while i was in SLC.

I'm flying to Georgia on Friday. . . cross your fingers for me.

A {letter} to Me

(Listen to the song first)

Brad Paisley is one of my favorites. . . =)

I still need to blog about my flight madness this past week. You guys have no idea... it was the worst bad luck i have ever had in my entire life.

Anyways. . . while i was on the 4.5 hour flight from Honolulu to LA last night, that song came on my ipod.

I'm going back to Georgia this weekend. And i've also visited and come into contact with a lot of old friends since I've gotten my mission call.

This song made me decide to blog about what i would write to myself if I could send a letter back.

Dear Steph,

You're 15, in middle school, and having a hard time with your friends. You don't feel appreciated and you've never felt like you've fit in with that crowd. You wanted to be popular so bad that you almost lost yourself on the way. Don't worry little girl, the Lord has an even bigger plan for you than you have for yourself.

When you find out about moving to Georgia, don't get caught up in saying goodbye. You'll be back. Don't worry about your friends forgetting about you, because you've made one of the best friends you'll ever have. Always tell Jazmin how much she's meant to you throughout all of it.

Stop talking to Matt, it only ends up making your life complicated. and make friends in school. Chattahoochee is scary, but it will become one of the greatest things you'll ever have experienced. Cherish seminary, sister Yates, and spending time with Mariana, Jenn, Ash, and Rachel.. because the summer will bring massive changes.

If i could tell you one thing to do in the summer of '06, it would be to figure out now how much your parents care about and love you. Always remember that mom wants what's best, not to torture you and keep you away from Josh. Keep Jazmin close and tell her that she's more important than anyone.

Your Junior year is the hardest of the three. Get out of the house, talk to people in school, and make friends. Girls have talked behind your back, and you've lost every friend in your ward, but this will make you stronger than anything. Keep talking to Courtney because you both help each other through some of the hardest lessons life has to offer.

Tell Andrew that you like him, and have the confidence to date him. Pay attention in math, and remember that Coach Dell loves you, he will always be there to help you.

When you meet Weston Goggins, write it in your journal. He'll become one of the best friends you'll have. You, Weston, Nathaniel, and Garrett will create some of the greatest memories that you'll remember in high school. Have fun, and don't stress about relationships. Have the confidence to be yourself and to not date when you don't need to. Stay close to Arielle, she needs you just as much as you've needed her.

The end of your senior year will be filled with so much fun with Weston and Nathaniel. When you go to Portugal, appreciate the culture and be patient. Don't worry about saying goodbye to Weston or Nathaniel, but appreciate Georgia and all it has given you. You've never been afraid of making the decision to go to BYU Hawaii, all you feel is excitement and later on you'll look back and feel so much satisfaction with the way you felt and how it all came together. You don't know a soul, but will make friends almost instantly and the Lord will bless you with the amazing friends you've always prayed for.

Remember to be happy, remember to not make things a bigger deal than they are, and stay close to the Lord.

Don't get caught up in dating and getting married, just enjoy college life and all of the friends you've made.

Study more, and play harder. Take lots of pictures. Hawaii is an amazing blessing.

Texting Danny isn't as important as all of the fun you'll have with Chantal, Bree and Erin in the Casa, remember that they are always there for you.

Soon you'll be frustrated, scared, and really in love. Don't be afraid to say what you feel, and listen closely to the spirit, don't ignore the promptings but trust in your heavenly father's plan for you. You'll make it out alive, i promise. Don't be quick to get upset, Quit talking, quit worrying, and have the confidence to be happy. Serving a mission is something deep down you know you want to do, don't be afraid to make that decision. You've always known that everything will work out how it should. Have Faith and Hope in your future :) you have a lot going for you.

Love, your future self. =)

admittance & {loves}

Happy HAPPY note!! I'm in Hawaii right now!

In the Casa!

With Bree and Ethan and Ariel!

and i got to hang out with Erin at the RWC today!

and go to class with Bree, Tessa, and Bonnie!

and go to subway!

and ride a longboard around Laie!

and i think i'll go to Foodland later for some comida =) =)

and we're going to watch a movie and make brownies tonight!!

I just wanted to admit,

that being here in Hawaii again, and around the mormon college scene,

I've noticed that those feelings of wanting to get married are ever-present here for me.

I am definitely looking forward to all that life is blessing me with starting this very minute

and continuing on and on. I am very blessed.

On another note:

I want to make another list of things that I love.

Reason:

the other day whilst driving to Arizona for 8 hours

i was thinking about how my attitude has gone downhill

and i've been really lazy and just not really very....

diligent

about doing what i need to do to be proactive haha

so my mind again came up with a metaphor

(remember the one with the small hands

taking their problems

and dropping them into the huge hands above them?)

Here's Steph's #2 LIFE METAPHOR:

there is a tiny jar (like the size for Jam)

and it sits (metaphorically) on my desk in my bedroom.

And its full of good, happy, wonderful, blissful things

things that make me happy

good deeds for my life

service that i've done for others

all of the church meetings i've been to

the times i've read my scriptures and said my prayers

the times that i've asked the Lord to help me make decisions..

things like that.

And every time i do something like

complain

or have a bad attitude

or get angry with someone

things like that...

it takes away some of the happy things in the jar.

so i think about it and realize that i want to keep as many things

in the jar

as possible.

the end. =)

THINGS I LOVE

shopping

anthropologie

toms shoes

my brothers' ambitions

my perfect big sister's advice

the temple

garments (ehh.. sometimes but i'm learning to)

flowers

hawaii (you know what that incorporates, right?)

Valentine's Day

Taipei, Taiwan

Georgia

St. George

My grandma and her love for cats

my parents

my big sister in New York

spaghetti and orange juice

clue

card games

putting on makeup

country music

slow songs/love songs

movies

making and cuddling in quilts

kissing

texting

guacamole

cafe rio

pedicures

my CTR ring

headbands

shopping for mission clothes

Ariel

Haleiwa Eats (HI) & Benjas (UT) & Satay House (GA) all Thai Food

Organizing

Cleaning

baths

vanilla perfume

pearl earrings

periwinkle things

Krispy Kreme donuts

junebug saying "so YUUUMMMAAYY" with a deep voice

Camden talking about "the holy god spirit"

marcus and his "giant house with the world's biggest hot tub and thats it"

huddy and his cute little lisp "im hudthun holm"

jettbug's smile

how i'm the baby whisperer and can put Drake to sleep before his parents can

orange peel

ghost in the graveyard in my house

talks with Ta'ei/Erin/Bree/Ashley

reading in pajamas and socks

making brownies with Bree

Texas sheet cake

25 main cupcakes

=)

a {journal} entry

My Aunt Janet got me a little journal that was light blue with little snowmen on it from Old Navy for Christmas when i was in 5th grade.

I wrote about the boys i had crushes on, being left out, getting my arm broken, and what i wanted to be when i grew up.

Now, 9 and a half years later, i've completely filled 7 journals.

When i used to write in them in Middle and high school it was more like my therapy. A way to fill the time, to focus my thoughts, and remember what is important to me. I think i write about boys the most because that helps me not think about them as much or try to remember what i was thinking because i have it all written down.

While being home, i've found all of my journals and i read them along with my scriptures at night.

All i can say is, if you don't keep a journal, start today. Make a goal to write in it every night before you go to bed. Even if you write a sentence, a paragraph, or 6 pages, i promise it will be worth it. Its so cool to me because its not just for my posterity to know exactly what i was doing or what i was thinking and what i became in this life and why i am the way i am, but its also so cool for me to see it myself. I've changed and grown and developed and it helps me to know that i've come a long way. and i have a long way to go.

I'm so excited to start all of my mission memorabilia.

I'm going to keep a spiritual journal, and kind of a memories journal.

My sister Julie said that while she's been on her mission, she keeps a separate journal for her thoughts about her future family and kids and when she finds her husband and stuff.

I want to collect little pieces of napkins, receipts, and flowers and things and glue them in. I did that my last 3 months in Hawaii and even a month afterwards i'm soo glad i did.

I love my journals.

It's also funny, because i've started to hang out and talk to some old boyfriends (i hope they don't read this lol) and i can look back and laugh at all of the stuff that happened. (p.s. i'm grateful we're still friends) and (i hope) one day i'll be starting to date my future husband, and i'll write all of the fun stuff and what i was thinking through it all, and we'll read it together and laugh down the road.

Journals are just fun.

I'm blogging a lot because i'm sick haha. but just some thoughts =) =)

Happy Sunday!

"For the {Temple} is a Holy Place...."

The temple on Thursday was

Amazing

Crazy

Emotional

and i'll admit.... strange.

I had to be at the temple early with my mom to do all of the initiatory stuff before my first session. I couldn't sleep the night before haha i only got about 3 hours of sleep AND i was fasting so when i woke up i was a zombie. My mom told me that i needed to break my fast or i would be miserable and falling asleep in the session. she gave me an energy drink and got me McDonald's ha. But all of the jitters and sleepiness left me as we pulled onto the road with the temple and i saw it. I love the St. George temple. It's always been my fairy princess castle, where i'd be sealed to my eternal companion/prince charming haha. When i saw it, i cried and cried and kept saying to my mom i can't believe i'm so lucky, i'm actually going inside today! I can't believe this!! haha i was all kinds of emotional.

Walking into the temple was fun too. I had my cute Vera Bradley temple bag with my beautiful new temple dress, all of the stuff that i needed (including mints, my mom said it's a tradition of hers to always have mints in her temple bag) and i showed the front desk man my very own temple recommend. (you know.. cause you always picture when you'll have it and that you'll show it to them and smile and think "yep thats right i'm worthy! I'm doing this!")

As a member of the LDS church, i've known all of my life that i would some day go into the temple for the first time. (and i thought it would be right before i got married... ha). Now, having been inside the temple, I am at a loss for words really.

I feel like there's this whole side of the church that i'd never known about before. The temple will do that to you i guess. But it's not secret, it's sacred. And this past Thursday i had to tell myself that it's not scary or weird, it's sacred.

Its like this time when my family got tickets to see General Conference. I was 14 or 15 i think and i was so excited. i remember saying my prayers and expressing how grateful i was that i got to see the prophet in real life. Then when i sat in my seat (on the balcony of the new conference center) i was in total shock. I had felt the spirit prior to entering the conference center, but once i was there i was mesmerized at all of the people, and how commercial it all felt. Seeing that many people come, and seeing all of the cameras and the hype of conference in real life scared me, and i felt like the church wasn't what i had thought it was because of that experience. That's exactly how i felt after my first temple session was over. I was mesmerized, and the church seems foreign again.

I'll continue to go, and i'll get used to it and i know i'll love it once i can understand it all better, but for right now, i'm trying to focus on the positive aspects. The main positive thing that i keep thinking about is how wearing garments always seemed like such an adult thing, and now i'm wearing them. That's crazy! I feel like a real grown up now. It makes me happy sometimes, but that taylor Swift song came on my itunes the other day "Never Grow Up" and i got sad. I don't feel like i'm old enough for all of this. But i'm grateful nonetheless =)

{Five} foot {Three}

Today I went to see my friends

Ta'ei Lafaele, Mike Richey, Scott Caldwell, and Chad Casey

sing with their ward choir in sacrament meeting.

They live in Bloomington Hills,

and the YSA wards here are sectioned into home stakes.

If you didn't already know,

I went to Bloomington Hills Elementary.

Apparently there was this big problem when my family first moved into Stone Cliff.

Our neighbors were mad that my parents wanted us to go to the new school

instead of the old one where their kids were going.

Anyway, luckily we got to go to Bloomington Hills Elementary.

Today in sacrament meeting i saw TONS of people that i haven't seen in a long long time.

Its funny, i feel like as i've gotten older,

i've gained more confidence.

When i used to come visit St. George, and saw those people,

i would be too shy to say hi.

But now they all came up to me, and i approached some of them.

It was like a great big elementary school reunion and i was

as happy as could be =)

Anyway the point of the title of this post is;

i also saw my 5th grade teacher

Mr. Gregoire.

He's in their bishopric.

I went up to him after sacrament meeting and asked if he remembered me.

He smiled, shook my hand, and said,

"You're not much taller, are ya"

nice.

I guess i haven't grown since 5th grade ha

Cutting {&} Pasting

The time here in St. Geezy passes by so slowly.

Sometimes I just want to Go.

then other times I really just want to stay.

If some of you are wondering why I'm here at home instead of finishing another semester at BYUH is for this very reason, which i forgot to announce i think...

My parents were extended a call to be Mission Presidents about a month before I got my call. They don't know where they're going yet, they find out around the end of February.

So I prayed about it, and felt like moving home was good to be able to spend time with them before I leave. =) so here i am babycakes. a little bored and lazy... but also grateful for this tiny window of a break.

OH and did i mention... i also get to see these little munchkins a whole lot more?

Drake

Jett

Huddy

Junebug

Camden & Hudson

(Christmas talent night

all the kids rocked

Santa Claus is coming to town haha)

And Marcus in the middle =)

I couldn't be any luckier =) =)

I love to see the {Temple}... I'll go inside someday

A place of

Love & Beauty. . .

"I urge our people everywhere, with all of the persuasiveness of which I am capable,

to live worthy to hold a temple recommend,

to secure one and to regard it as a precious asset,

and to make a greater effot to go to the house of the Lord and partake of the spirit and the blessings to be held therein.

I am satisfied that every man or woman who goes to the temple

in a spirit of sincerity and faith

leaves the house of the Lord as a better man or woman.

There is need for constant improvement in all of our lives.

There is need occasionally to leave the noise and tumult of the world

and step within the walls of a sacred house of God,

there to feel His spirit in an environment

of holiness and peace."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

I love to see the temple,

I'm going there. . . .

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

{!!!!}

lovey dovey love love love

{Be Still}

I've never been the kind to testify

i don't have the words his truth deserves.

but it's a simple thing he asks,

a worthy heart and willing hands.

He says if i'll make the choice

he'll help me find my voice.

He calls me to serve

and i cannot fail him.

the one who has given me all that i have.

i place my trust in him alone,

he knows the yearnings of my soul

because he believes in me

i will go willingly.

how can i keep this gift to myself

when i can lift somebody else?

i am witness of his miracles and his mercy.

i put my future in his hands

knowing he's made me all i am.

when i put my faith in, the truth begins to speak.

his power is real.

it moves me until i will not

be still.

Lifting the hands that hang down in sorrow.

strengthening knees that bend in despair.

reaching the hopeless hearts

who do not know his love

seeing their lives begin to change

i know i'll never be the same.

How can i keep this gift to myself

when i can lift somebody else?

ill be a witness of his miracles and his mercy.

I put my future in his hands

knowing he's me all i am.

i put my faith in him

and truth begins to speak.

his power is real.

it moves me until i will not

be still.

his power is real

i trust in his will

i will not

be still.

{Wishes} for 2011

2010, you were a tough one.

I'm not going to lie, I came into 2010 expecting it to be amazing and wonderful and surprising.

and it was the hardest year of my life so far.

My Dearest 2011, here are my goals =D

-Read the scriptures and my patriarchal blessing every day twice a day

-Be more helpful and loving with my family

MISSION GOALS:

Be a missionary that uplifts others

Never think of myself first

Always give people the benefit of the doubt

Obedient to my mission president 100%

NEVER complain

Have a heart full of gratitude everyday for the blessings that I do have

work my hardest to learn the language

I've forgotten to write about what i think about my mission call,

probably because i've been writing in my journal a ton this past week haha.

Before I got my call, i prayed that it would be a place that would make me feel special. I don't know why, but that is what i wanted. I wanted to get a call that would be so exciting and so new and different.

When i opened my call, i was literally in shock for 2 days. All i could think about was Taiwan, and Chinese, and how awesome it is that i get to go there. I was in full-on excited-mission-mode.

Several people have told me "my uncle went there and loved it!"

"my sister-in-laws cousin went there and said it's beautiful"

"My grandpa's nephews best friend's dog lives there and loves it!"

I've also heard:

"i'm not gonna lie Steph, I'm really scared for you."

"chinese is really hard. its the hardest language to learn"

"you're going to starve to death"

"you better learn to like eating scorpion and squid and raw fish"

My mom tells me every day that i'm not going.

My dad finds at least 5 new people to tell every day haha

and my sister Julie writes me as "our little chinese/asian sister".

Here's what i think:

I think that my call is the Lord's way of showing me the potential he sees in me.

I've always always said that the people who get called to Asia are the smartest people i know. And guess what, I'm a B average student. I'm mediocre at like everything, and Spanish or even ENGLISH probably would have been the easier choice.

But my Heavenly Father can see me teaching and growing and learning in a way i didn't know i could. I am soo so soo INCREDIBLY excited to go. My whole mindset on life has changed. I CANNOT wait to drop my life and serve. I know that maybe sometimes i'll miss my awesome life in Hawaii, or the freedom i feel every day now. But i know that this mission will change me, and change my life, and change my whole eternity. These next 18 months will pass no matter what, and there's nothing else in the world i'd rather be doing.

Anyways... since we're talking about 2011 and most of my year will be spent on my mission, those are some thoughts haha.

Quote that sums up my year:

"Don't you quit. You keep walking.

You keep trying.

There is help and happiness ahead.

Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some

don't come until heaven.

But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.

It will be all right in the end.

Trust God, and believe

in good things to come."

-President Thomas S. Monson