{Perhaps}

Today i said "{perhaps}"

"{perhaps} i need to get up and do something so that i won't be sad."

I woke up feeling a little flustered and confused.

I know that my life is going somewhere great and wonderful...

but the power of discouragement is a great big ball of gravity on my mind sometimes.

some of you may say "you're living the single life!" or "how can you complain when you live in Hawaii?"

So today i tried to be proactive..

i got up, made myself look pretty, and sung at a wonderful devotional.

I also went to a lecture that i usually don't attend.

And came home with nothing left to do until my choir class.

So i sat... and decided i need to stretch to see if it would wake me up.

As i was doing so... this flood of sadness hit me.

Like a giant wave of depression.

Like i'm not good enough, and that nothing i do is anything but mediocre.

Like everyone in the world thinks i'm weird, and so do i.

So i thought of President Hinckley's Dad's letter to him on his mission..

President Hinckley felt useless being on his mission when his family could use his help at home..

so his dad wrote him and said,

"Forget yourself and get to work"

So i stood up,

and decided to make all of my roommate's beds.

{Perhaps} service really is the only answer to sadness.

I also enjoyed a crazy fun conversation in Spanish with Crystal

which made my horribly terrible day so much better.

{Perhaps} one of the best cures for me, is to have my goofy friends come and talk to me

and tell me that life really isn't that bad,

and that i really am good enough

and that (some) people do love me.

So {perhaps} i'll start a little journal of things that i'm grateful for.

i am the youngest of the greatest family on the planet.

i have older brothers sisters who care about me and love me so much.

i have nephews who think i'm cool because i live in hawaii and can pick them coconuts.

i have amazing parents full of advice and prayers on my behalf

my house is nice, has a t.v., tinsel on the windows and christmas lights on the balcony

my bed is super soft and comfy and i can sleep at night

i have an able body that is still as flexible as it was when i danced every day

i go to school at an institution that promotes my standards and helps me be better every day

i have seen a sea turtle, eel, and octopus in real life

i've traveled to portugal, mexico, the caribbean, the bahamas, the dominican republic, and all over the U.S.

i am going to serve for 18 months as a representative of Jesus Christ

I am a member of the only true church on the earth and receive personal counsel from the Lord every day when i seek it.

i have the Holy Ghost and have made and am keeping sacred coven

ants with my heavenly father

i can recall trials that have pushed me to be better, so i know that the ones i go through are for a reason, and i'm so so grateful to know that, and to have become better and not worse.

i am grateful for unselfish people who don't do things just to gain things, but are sincere.

i am grateful for long talks with people about anything at all

i'm grateful for the boys who tell me i look pretty when i feel so ugly

and so many other things..

thats it for now =)

i hope you all stay happy

and {perhaps} we'll make it out alive after all.

... and {Perhaps} I'll watch a Disney movie tonight =D

look what i found.... hahahaha