{Happy}

I walked downstairs to say goodnight to my little nephew Camden,

i said "i thought you were 3 little kids walking in the door so i came down here to see who it was,

but it's just you. and you're just one"

and he goes

"nu uh there's 2 cause my dad counts too."

and then he tried to make the wii work, and i told him it wasn't working because he hadn't given me hugs and kisses goodnight.

so now i have a fat lip.

because i gave him a kiss on the head, and he kept wiping away my kisses, and leaning back and forth. and banged me in the head.

but it makes me happy. haha

I've been sick for the past couple of days.

And its still like every single day is a roller coaster

some days I'm still so excited to go and just want to leave tomorrow

and other days I ask myself what the heck am i getting myself into.

I think everyone feels like that though.

I kind of regret not finishing another semester at BYUH.

I look back at the past couple of months,

I've traveled a ton

but i've only seen my family a little.

I really don't spend all that much time with my parents

and they were the whole reason I moved home.

I even go mission shopping by myself ha

that's how busy they are.

It reminds me of my senior year when i did all of my graduation stuff by myself.

I bought my cap and gown, i submitted pictures for the young women's slideshow,

i cut and put together my graduation announcements,

and now i'm buying skirts that go past my knee,

and shirts that cover my garments,

cute headbands,

closed toed and heeled shoes,

raincoats,

belts, and hair flowers,

extra make-up and shavers,

a plethora of american fever-reducers,

suitcases and a sweet mission backpack,

pens, pencils, a mini hymnbook, a notebook,

bed sheets and 2 pillowcases,

towels and shampoo,

and figuring out how i need to best prepare.

it's a lonely, and stressful process.

and I miss the people who made me laugh all of the time.

I could really use a good laugh

and a talk about how crazy this decision feels sometimes.