Hands, Friends, & the house by the Sea

Lake Powell was the best trip i've been on in months.

I was the only young person, with 10 business people and my parents.

all of the people were so nice to me (it may have something to do with them sucking up to my dad..? haha but i like to think it was because of me)

They taught me how to cook and chop vegetables,

they talked to me about their lives, and helped me decide important things.

Important things = that all I have is time. and i love that. =)

Now that i think about it, i've always been one to hang out with the adults.

don't get me wrong, the adults were riding the water weenie, and watching me wake surf,

and playing 4 men on a couch. But the best part is that they know so much.

and at this point in my life, i'll admit, i'm stressed about who i'm going to be.

i think about it all the day long. but all i really want to be is happy.

and happiness on that trip was when i wake surfed without the rope, and had 12 people in our boat cheering for me and taking my picture, i haven't felt that good about myself in a long time.

I got a blessing from my dad the other day,

and he blessed me to put my cares in the hands of heavenly father.

Hands.

then my mind did something awesome, it thought of this metaphor.

Everything that i'm worried about, everything that makes me anxious or stressed,

i take my tiny hands, and pick them up, and put them in Heavenly Father's HUGE hands.

and that's it. what's left is happiness and peace and i.am.loving.it.

It's been working. I'm the happiest now than i have been in months.

I also want to be a better friend.

I've been able to hang out with a couple of my old friends.

old, as in, we've known each other since we were 9.

I am so grateful for those friends, they know who i am, and who i've always been.

and i love them. they give me a sense of home in a world full of uncertainties.

but one thing i do know, is that i am halfway through my Summer vacation today.

This vacation has been SO awesome, and i'm torn between going back and staying forever.

For now, i'm referring to my hands metaphor every day,

and letting the pieces fall where they may.

I'm also elated with the thought of going back to my house by the Sea =)

Side note:

Toy Story 3 = the best movie ever

Spanish Buzz = me laughing for 10 minutes straight, no joke. so awesome.

So Small

oh my goodness..

i have to type as quick as possible

because i'm still watching him

but this is seriously too funny.

I just picked up Camden my 4 year old nephew to watch him for the night.

this is our conversation in the car:

*=Me

`=Cam

*Hey cam, do you wanna go get some ice cream?

`no because then the sugar bugs get on my teeth and i don't want them cause then there's gross stuff on your teeth all night.

*ok

`i'm only gonna eat things that are healthy for me

*what's healthy for you cam?

`hings like... corn on the cob

and chicken

and steak

and beef

and hot dogs on a stick are good for you

*no they're not

`yeah huh, because they dont have sugar bugs

*but they have fat bugs

`but i'm not even fat

*but you'll get fat if you eat a bunch of hot dogs on a stick

`no i won't. Hey look! there's the moon! hi moon! and look its my friend dayyin (dallin)

he's on the moon

*how'd he get on the moon?

'he built his own rocket ship and shot up there

and look, i see Jesus

*where's Jesus?

'he's.. well he's just sleepin

*where's he sleeping? was he in this car?

`no, he's somewhere in the sky but i cant see him cause he's invisible.

*but jesus has a body

`i know, but he has all the power in the world, so he can turn invisible.

when you're nice to jesus then he be's nice to you.

when you're mean to jesus then he be's mean to you.

*what does he give you when you're nice to him?

`the holy God.. i mean the holy spirit

*that's right! you're so smart!

`i know. . . oh man! i'm good! i guess i am so good at this.

1 plus 2 and 3 plus 2. . . is that right?

*yes

`oh man i'm so smart

6 plus 8 and 4 plus 2. . . is that right?

*yes

`oh man.. this is the best day of my life.. .i guess i can do whatever i want

tree plus bush. . . is that right?

*yes

`race car plus gas. . . is that right?

*yes

`two plus three. . .is that right?

four plus 6. . . is that right?

100 plus 99!. . . is that right?

*yeah what else?

`i dont wanna tell.. im just so good

now i can play cards

i could win!

i'd be so good. . . i bet you can't beat me at cards.

*tell me about optmius prime again

`he lives in our garage right now

we got optimus prime's autograph

and he has this backpack

oh this backpack is dangerous

it'll supplode. . . oh i dont want one of those!

*why not?

`cause then i'd blow myself up!

hey, here's a fuzzy hing!

look what i found, my fuzzy hing

makes my hand fuzzy

i've been looking for my fuzzy all over the place.

(Right now in the library haha. . . )

because its the holy spirit

so thats why i be good

look at this guy (a statue we have of Nephi)

he's the holy God spirit, is that right?

News from Miss Steph =)

**Sad News for Today First. . .

Sadly I forgot my camera battery charger in Hawaii

But. . .

the day is going to be bright and shiny (as it has all day)

My friend Lyndon from Hawaii/Fresno came to stay with me. We've had an awesome day today and he's staying another night. Fiesta Fun? Possibly a choice for the night (!) =)

AND

He has a battery charger that fits my battery!!

Today we went swimming in Green Valley with his cousins. . .

he has an underwater camera too, so we took videos jumping off the diving board.

Lyndon makes videos out of them and puts them in reverse, they are so sick!!

(I'll see if i can snag them from his computer and post them. . .they're just that awesome)

And the forecast just keeps getting brighter and sunnier =)

Do you want to know what i love about St. George? Ok, I'll tell you.

(not in any particular order)

~I love being able to drive

~Air conditioning

~seeing adults that have known me since i was born

~my cousins and aunts and uncles!

~of course my family

~laying on a couch and watching TV/Movies

(I'd prefer to do the latter with somebody. . . but by myself has been quite spectacular recently. . . haha sooner or later i'll find a cuddle buddy)

~Being by the temple

~Laughing with my parents

~Dancing in the kitchen with Jazmin

***I haven't cooked anything but a quesadilla! that doesn't sound like me haha weird.

~My pool

~the blistering heat (knowing i'll be leaving it in a few short weeks again helps a little)

~having my own huge bed

~pretty much having this house to myself

~seeing people i've known for years everywhere i go

~and all the awesome friends i've made everyday

. . . but most of all

I'm starting to think about what's really important to me.

I can get blessings from my dad and see

that i have a lot to learn.

PS I'll start posting more pictures, i promise!

I Know Someday It'll All Work Out

I need to buy a new journal.

Its been almost a month since i finished my last one.

I just don't want to start a new one right now haha. But i've had TONS of spiritual experiences lately, so i've kinda been keeping track and hopefully i'll go buy one soon. haha

so this post is for my journal, for the Summer of 2010 (these might be random, but i'll just keep them until i go back to HI, i promise =)

Week 1:

Saturday-

Pam Baer's suprise birthday party (*the nose/color moaning game)

A little trouble at the STG Palace

In-N-Out, phone calls, dixie rock (*we saw the ocean! *we talked about dirty things and it was hilarious, especially because there were 4 guys that were not so far away, probably listening ha)

Sunday-

Jaz's ward (Ris's testimony was AWESOME. and she totally almost scored jazmin a date. . . . not really haha but she tried.)

Got another answer to my prayers, Plus reading my scriptures at the temple (oh my goodness, i love love love the St. George temple. Every time i'm in town, usually the first day i'm back, i'll drive to it and sit on the grounds. Its the most peaceful place and i'm so grateful to visit it)

Drove to my parents' Ranch with Steve and Jaime, Huddy, baby Jett, Bendrea and Cashy. We roasted marshmallows and tied (but failed) making dutch oven peach cobbler haha

Monday-

Drove to Provo around 2

Stopped to see Collette and Haddie. I felt like i hadn't seen her in FOREVER. especially since she has a sweet little baby girl now! I love and miss you BEA!

Weston waited for 2.5 hours for me to get to Provo haha. We went to dinner at In-N-Out, got frozen yogurt, and tried to go to the nickel-arcade thing.

Finally got to see Junebug!! she's huge!! and she can walk and talk and is the sweetest little girl on the planet. Her mom and dad are pretty cool too i guess. (haha jk love you guys, thanks for letting me stay with you!)

Tuesday-

pool with June and Melissa

baby doctor's appointment- melissa's having a BOY!

Pizza Factory

Watched baby June. she cried for an hour straight when i put her down for bed. . . i was on the phone with Danny and was like "what is wrong?!?" . . . i brought her milk and held her, she almost fell asleep, then i realized she was SUPER poopy haha i felt SO bad. . i am the worst aunt ever haha i let her sit in her poop and cry for an hour =(

Wednesday-

Lagoon!!

OK i already posted about this, but just to clarify. . .

the boy that was in front of us in line for the Samurai or whatever. . .

he wasn't a little boy, he was at least 12 but most likely 14 and had a HUGE poop streak mark down the side of his butt seam on his shorts. (Ris told me she thought he was little so i thought i'd clarify. . . this also led to a pretty awesome conversation about pooping your pants with Ris, Brianon, and DJ)

Thursday-

Lunch at the park

June loves the swings, it is so cute

watched June while melissa had a meeting

watched the Glee finale

Visited Ris, Brianon, and DJ at Ris's, went to a malt shop and talked about Dungeons and Dragons...? i cant remember what it was called, but i'm pretty sure every person they were talking about is basically obsessed with pornography and that game. it was weird. we also sat at Ris's and talked for a long time. I'm glad i got to visit =)

Went to the Provo Temple grounds at like midnight by myself haha loved it.

Friday-

drove home

went to the Tarzan Gala and opening show at Tuacahn

Saturday-

Mike's birthday

dinner at Pizza Factory

Kara Udy's Reception with Liz and Jazmin

We were going to see a movie...but we ended up playing games at my house with jamie (=Ke$ha), Tyler Prax, Liz, Jazmin and I. Jazmin and Ke$ha bummed out early, Prax Liz and i stayed up talked til like 2.

WEEK 1 = Awesome.

Why don't you stay. . .

I reluctantly left Melissa and Junebug this morning. . . but only to be reunited with my parentals after a whopping 4 months of separation. (i literally think this is the longest i've been away from them.) I cried when I hugged them.

I got to see Tarzan at Tuacahn (we're so VIP. . . a Gala before, free water bottles, a red carpet roped off section where the ticket takers took our tickets. . . and yes I drove the mustang. Life is good when I get to live in this surreal life of mom and dad's world haha.) Slash. . . Tarzan was AWESOME! We got rained on at the end.. but oh no worries, my sis-in-law's dad is the director, so we just went to his office and let the people who didn't get to walk on the red carpet watch the ending in the rain. haha jk.

Another form of good news. . . i gave my dad 3 options today.

they were legit, and i had been considering these options long and hard for about 2 years now.

1. how was i going to approach my dad when telling him (jet lag from his trip to China.. basically asleep.. he totally agreed with everything i said)

2. Which one to place where in the conversation. . . (option 1,2,& 3 were placed in a very good order for his consideration.)

The Subject of Consideration:

Stephanie wants a car in Hawaii. She is now a Junior at BYUH and has 2 more years to live on the island. Her argument is: helping with groceries and saving on grocery money because i can take trips to wal-mart, more time with friends, on-time to class, explore the island, not spend as much money coming home because i'll have a car, and well. . . no island fever because i can go to far off destinations on the small little island haha. (my arguments really aren't that legit.. . but the options i gave him were.)

The Options:

(well i have to explain, my parents may or may not be serving a mission in the upcoming year. . . if they do decide to go, Stephanie is not married and therefore needs to make plans for herself and her lonesomeness in case of the parents leaving for a long time. So my parents will be paying for the car. . . somewhat. . )

#1: Stephanie's Ford Focus is shipped for $1,000 to Oahu. I will pay my parents back the money they spent to get it there, and I'll earn the money to ship the car back when i graduate.

(cons: my car is G-Hetto (Julie said in NY they call it so "wood hill"), the seats are leather aka trips to the beach means my car will smell like mossy grossness forever, and another thing my car is small so i'd like to get a bigger car.)

#2 Stephanie sells her Ford Focus during her summer vacation here in Utah. I would use the $3,000 or $4,000 to pay for a car in Hawaii, and use the money not used to pay for gas.

#3 (this one is favored by my dad because he is passionate about me having a car when I come to visit in Utah. . . even though my parents (not including my siblings) have 3 cars.)

Stephanie's Ford Focus stays here at home, she buys a car in Hawaii. Then once I graduate or decide to move back to the mainland, i sell the car and whatever money is lost i pay my parents back the difference. (this one is my favorite, i'd have 2 cars, plus i could buy a whole new car here, any one i want (as long as its not expensive haha)).

I think #3 is the favorite. But we'll see when he's not jet-lagged. Usually the conversations that I have like this with my dad end up like this "hey dad. . . so when are we gonna do that thing we talked about?" "stephanie i never said you/we could/were going to do that." "awesome".

We'll see. But it's happenin. and I'm soooo stoked!

{Lagoon} with Weston & Landon

This is Wicked,
It shoots you straight up, then straight down, and is awesome! we rode it 3 times.

The Samurai,
(in line for this there was a kid in front of us
who had poop stains on his butt haha)
this is seriously so awesome! it looks lame, but it's so fun!!

Rattlesnake Rapids
We tried so hard not to get wet,
but i got soaked, and was freezing for the rest of the day.

The Spider turns as you ride
it was crazy and so fun. one of my favorites.

The Colossus/Fire Dragon
This one's ok. We rode it a lot too haha

We waited in line for a while for the wooden rollercoaster,
and lightning was striking way way close, but they kept the ride going.
I just wanted to get it overwith before we got struck by lightning.
Landon kept saying, "lightning will usually strike on a higher point.. like right here."
awesome.

Before we got on this, there was a girl who went by herself,
and literally did not stop spinning for the entire like 10 minutes she was in the thing.
I tried to spin mine, but didn't even spin once =( haha

The jet star was the first ride we went on,
there were 3 of us,
and you have to ride 2 to a seat or more
so i had to ride with a random lady the first time,
and her hair kept getting in my mouth.
The second time all 3 of us rode in a seat together
and we almost died. haha it was crazy,
the seat belt almost killed me,
weston's head bumped the back of my head,
and all of our weight was on landon in the back haha.

Little Baby June

Ok i'm a little bias...

but she has to be the cutest niece in the world.

~she gives me hugs and kisses

~i put her down for a nap, when she woke up she

handed her bear to me and had me kiss it.

~After we found out melissa is having a BOY! we went outside

the Doctor's office, and June had to pick all the dandelions.

~She'll tell you what sounds a bear, dog, cat, cow, and wolf make

~She loves the pool, she fell in all the way and didn't even cry

~She loves to take pictures on photobooth,

after every picture, she'd say "mo!" (More) haha

I just love her so much! i get to babysit her tonight while

her parents go on their anniversary date. =)

P-Town

I have missed the people I got to see today.

Collette Warner (Francom)(With her sweet little baby Haddie Bea!)

Weston Goggins

Matt & Melissa

Baby June

Jef Carl Holm

So far, (the past 3 days), this summer has been amazing. I've finally gotten the break I need. I've finally been able to push past my fears and learned some faith. =) with a little bit of hope. (i still miss my bestie.)

Sometimes, (alright here it comes.. now that the pain is finally subsiding), sometimes you just have to take a step back and know that things will be okay, as long as you're doing what Heavenly Father wants you to do. I've taken bitter pills of anger and jealousy, and a couple of sessions of just crying in the shower to finally stand aside and "cease the relentless participation.. and watch what happens.. life moves on" -Eat.Pray.Love.

Anyway.. I'm excited for what the future holds for me=)

I'm already lovin this summer and am gonna have lots of fun!!

We can still touch the Sky. . .Let's Crawl back to Love

I'm Finally home!!

I slept most of my flight(s). Then went shopping with my sis-in-law.. and looked like a zombie. It was 6 in the morning my time haha.

Now that i'm home it's kinda surreal. I haven't been here in 6 months.. it's the longest i've been away from this house and from my family. (a little secret: Hawaii feels more like home.. and I already miss it and am excited to go back haha)

BUT. . .

I'm WAY excited for what this summer will have in store.

I'm single and ready to mingle!

I'm happy and excited to be able to drive

I get to go to the temple and read my scriptures on sundays

I get to hang out with my nephews and niece (who i'm going to see on MONDAY!!)

and my siblings =)

PLUS jazmin. haha i love summers in St. George! Let's get this party started

We Made Plans. . .

Hair Ties Are Helpful when packing =)

And once again I find myself packing up my stuff. My whole life's belongings have come down to a matter of a few boxes. Packing always hits me pretty hard. I've always loved it. But I hate what it means.

It means that life is changing again. Looking back, I've seen the small little eras of my life that have made such a significant impact on my life. My move to St. George (i was only 7, but i remember elementary school and not having friends. I remember the huge impact it was having on my older brothers, and that changed me. I would sit by myself and cry in the corner of the playground until i met chelsey smith haha)

I remember packing up my childhood and seeing it diminish into being a teenager when i moved to georgia. I didn't want to pack most of my stuff, so i only packed my clothes, and my mom had to come in and tell me, "Steph, we're actually MOVING. you have to pack your stuff." Then the drive across the country.. i was so excited to see it. I kept thinking as we pulled into Alpharetta, "this is where i'm going to be dating and going to high school and making friends and telling people about the gospel!" . . that excitement only lasted until the car ride was over haha. It hit me like a ton of bricks when i saw the tiny condo we would live in.

Then every summer packing to move back to St. George. I was always torn because i had made such good friends, and i was leaving for 3 months. But always excited to see Jaz and Hablo =). Then packing to go back to Georgia after the summer... those were the WORST. I always hated having to go back and start over. I lost a lot of friends in those small months. and gained a lot of good true ones.

Then my senior year. The best year ever, and i had the best friends i could ask for. I tried to spend every waking minute with Nathaniel and Weston before i left. 3 huge suitcases, and a senior trip later i was unpacking in provo. Then 2 months later packing for college. I cried the whole time.

Then unpacking in my tiny dorm room. And packing again to go home for the summer. Having to find a place to store my stuff was hectic and terrible and i'm so glad i dont have to do that again.

Then packing after the summer to move back to Hawaii after finding my BBFF. And now I'm packing to go home for another Summer. I love packing, but i hate the end of these little eras.

I love change but i hate it. I've loved the new friends and the fresh starts, but hated having to leave people i love behind. I can't wait to go home and see my family and spend time with my friends! It's only 6 weeks so its not too tortuous haha i'm actually excited =) but this whole packing thing sparked a story in me =) you're welcome for my life story haha.

Crawl

Haleiwa & Waimea {Memorial} Day

It started out on a simple bus ride. . .

30 minutes to

Waimea

(Where less than a week ago

I jumped off the rock for the first time!)

I made some new friends =)

. . . I love these boys =) haha

Ponyo Ponyo

Then off to

Haleiwa

to get food at Kua-Aina

the burgers were so good.. a little dry but good haha we were starving.

and we finished off with a little

Matsumoto's

I loved today.

Nobody nobody but you! I want nobody, nobody but you!